The Tears of Men

From Pat Conroy’s Beach Music:

TearsAmerican men are allotted just as many tears as American women. But because we are forbidden to shed them, we die long before women do with our hearts exploding or our blood pressure rising or our lives eaten away by alcohol because that lake of grief inside us has no outlet. We, men, die because our faces were not watered enough.

Brian Doyle’s latest piece in The Sun, Cut,” is a lovely complement to this.


7 responses to “The Tears of Men”

  1. It’s funny that you post this today as I was thinking about a situation last week that brought tears to my eyes for no apparent reason. As my wife and I were sitting in the Canadian pavilion in Epcot, two people stepped into the gardens and began to hold a private marriage ceremony. It just touched me at the core, and began to tear up. At first, I was hesitant. Then, I just let it go. Whether happy, sad, or any other emotion, allowing yourself to become vulnerable through expression of your emotions allows you to truly live. Man, woman, child, or adult, we all need to cry and we should never be ashamed to do so. Thanks for sharing 😉

    • Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. My emotions catch me off guard sometimes, too, but like you, I think it’s something to embrace, not run from. As you say, they’re there to help us live more fully.

  2. Great quote — and perhaps men’s lifespan is also shorter on average because they more frequently resort to violence in an effort to protect the part of themselves that would otherwise reveal its grief, and ensure that they are not seen as weak for possessing that part.

    • Funny you should say that, because one of the things that came to my mind after reading Pat Conroy was FIGHT CLUB. I wonder if anger and sadness are more deeply connected than I’ve considered before.

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